I’ve always wished to have wings.. To be able to fly on my own and run my fingers through clouds… I guess we all do.. Right? But what for? What excited Da Vinci’s imagination about the possibility of soaring through the skies that he presented “The flying Machine” to us..? Why did the Wright brothers were so fascinated with the gliders that they changed the course of human civilisation by giving virtual wings for generations to fly.. Was it just a means to travel distances in a shorter period of time or an endless desire to connect.. to connect where we all came from…
Yes, we all came from the same place… Remember? How Adam had to leave his true home.. “The Heavens” in order to make this world a beautiful place.. A new home, a family… But did he forget about the place he belonged to? No..! Afterall, we are all his family too.. Why wouldn’t we wish to fly back…
“Sometimes you think that you will never be able to overcome the pain you are going through.. That either it will die with you, or take you to the grave with itself… But then one morning you wake up and you don’t feel it anymore.. Is it just the pain that you don’t feel anymore, or you don’t feel anything at all……?”, he kept thinking while looking at the fan slowly revolving in a perfect circle.
“If only I can fall asleep in the first place…”
His heart almost stopped when he heard the phone beeping.. “Is it her?”
“Oh! Just a reminder for bedtime… At least it’s been more persistent than most of the people in my life.. Why do human beings get so deeply involved with people when we already know that eventually, they are all going to abandon us? I thought we’re supposed to be the most intelligent species of all.. Why do we keep getting hurt over and over again..? Waiting for people.. Making friends.. And falling in love…?” he kept staring at the handle of his drawer, shining like gold in the dim light peeping from the window.
“Should I call her? At least I’ll be able to sleep peacefully through the night… But what if she disappears on me again..” Liam sighed and locked the phone screen again as he walked towards the drawer bare feet…
“Why open up your heart to people and get hurt, hoping you might feel better.. When these anti-depressants work all the same, just without the pain…” he squeezed a pill down his throat as a tear rolled down his cheek while a smile widened his lips…….
If I set you free…..
“If I set you free…. into the bright dense fields, into the deserts and the oceans, into the lap of the very nature we were created from, would you find yourself?
Would you dance to the rain trickling down your toes, would you make peace with the dark nights that haunt your soul? Would you find peace singing beautiful poems all by yourself? Would you find joy spreading your wings over the oceans? Would you feel serenity walking the forests on a starry night?
Indeed! It’s wretched, the world that we are in. To escape from the cobwebs of friends and enemies. It’s a constant fight, a fight with many casualties. But the peace we find holding hands after this exhaustion, the solace it brings flying in the clouds together. It’s the very nature of me and you. The sanctuary from all our inner beasts and demons. This safe haven, to be tangled in the threads of another existence, is worth fighting for, it’s worth a lifetime, watching stars brighten the night sky, together….”
-Freedom, by Hiraa!
Sometimes, being incognisant might be a blessing…
I kept staring at the beautiful painting of Lake Saiful Muluk for a long time, with a feeling of delight and admiration in my eyes.. A beautiful lake, perfectly surrounded by snow covered mountains, like a fragment of imagination from an extraordinary poet.. Just too good to be true.. Or maybe it was..
How many times in a day we go through pictures of grandiloquent mountains and mystic deserts, beautiful lakes and serene beaches.. Pictures of children playing, lovers holding hands, girlfriends smiling and celebrities dancing… There are always two sides to every picture, one that we show to the world, and one that’s on the other side…
The explicit side is usually a depiction of smiles and colours and comforts and joy, objects we all need to solace our vexed souls… Then there’s the implicit side, which shouldn’t necessarily be dark or pitiful, but usually not as colourful as the virtual image… Even the beautiful lake was painted on a blank plain canvas but look how beautiful it turned out to be..
Though it makes me wonder if the people living in those mountains have a life as tempting as their surroundings? Or the children in that sepia shaded photograph, laughing and playing in mud have enough clean clothes? And that overwhelming painting of lovers holding hands firmly like they’ve never ever separated since the moment they united, will be exactly like that in the next moment?
What lies behind everything that we see, this persistent curiosity, this distressing feeling of being unaware maybe too intriguing to avoid… But sometimes looking at the perfect picture and believing everything it says is more effective in comforting our minds than knowing the truth.. Sometimes, being incognisant is a blessing..!!
I have myopia..
You know… Short sightedness.. There’s a certain point when everything just becomes blurred and I just can’t figure out what’s ahead of me…. This feeling of uncertainty while taking a step down the stairs or looking for a pin on the floor doesn’t make me feel lost.. But it’s the uncertainty of the twists and turns that my life keeps taking…. It scares me..
What if I end up in the wrong direction..? What if this isn’t what I want..? What if the ones that I have faith in, break my trust over and over again? Is it ever going to get any better.. What if it doesn’t? What if the pain never subsides? What if this pain makes me bitter and I become a totally different person..?
And just then I hear the trickling of water.. I hear water knocking on my window.. Calling me out… And as soon I open the window I feel the fresh breeze kissing my cheeks.. The rain embracing me… Washing away all my fears and uncertainties.. And with every drop falling on the leaves and roof and cars and window panes and the empty tin cans, playing a beautiful symphony for me.. Making me smile…. And by the time it ends I can see everything so clear even in the darkest of nights, without any correction glasses, or anything at all.. I can see everything falling into its place…. I can see everything clear,,,, after the rain..!!
Since Childhood to Adulthood we are taught
that the time before a nightfall is Dusk and before the beginning of every new morning the Dawn arrives.. But I always believed there’s something that exists in between them…. The time which usually goes unnoticed, when most of the untold stories are born, when the most provocative thoughts come to existence, when all the life changing dreams are woven… The time when a poet expresses the most distressing phases of love.. When a dutiful mother and wife thinks about her shadowed past… When a young boy is wondering about how to make his country better and better.. When the old grandmother secretly sheds a tear which her pillow quickly absorbed… There’s a secret time zone which no one ever talks about… The time between Dusk to Dawn…..
Have you ever asked yourself…. Why?
Why do we close our eyes… at times when it isn’t necessary to shut them and not capture the beauty of those moments within the memory cells of our beautiful amazing eyes? Why do we close our eyes when we kiss or dream or laugh so much that it hurts the abdomen or when we feel the first breeze of fresh air on a beautiful autumn morning? Why do we close our eyes when we can actually live the dream? Because it’s the feeling that matters and not the shape of its physical existence.. The feeling of accomplishment of an imagination…. that came across your mind while walking a deserted street or in the darkest hours of night just before the beginning of a new day.. But then there are those kind of dreams.. We see with our eyes open… And those dreams are ones which make us lost in imaginary conversations and scenarios how we can turn them into reality…. I lived a dream with my eyes wide open and lost in its struggle of survival and it took me so long to realize that its existence was nothing, but a Fiasco….!!